Dear Diary

Dear Diary! Journals aren't just archives of our junior high crushes. They're also amazing tools for self reflection, spiritual connection, anxiety relief, and tracking personal growth over time. We share our experiences with journaling over the years and practical ways to use journals on your spiritual journey. BONUS! We share journaling techniques from our very special listeners who wrote in with their favorite ways to journal. Join us on this special episode! We love ya. xoxo 

Owning Your Power

Today we have our first guest, Kelly! In this episode we discuss not knowing your own power, giving away your power, and finally learning tools to help own your power. In a world where so many people struggle for power, we explore what it means to connect with and reclaim our own inner power. From somatic experiencing to body scans to breathing and prayer we offer different ways for you to get rooted in your power. Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

S2 E1. Then And Now

2020 changed things. From global pandemic to Black Lives Matter to shifts in this sweet podcast. We've been on pause for months as Pretty Spiritual Podcast reflected on our role in this new landscape. Dear Ella will not be participating in Season 2 of the podcast, but Annie and Lindsay Poni are here for you—sometimes with guests—to share experience and spiritual tools, laughs and tears. This episode will talk these transitions and the spiritual tools we’re using to navigate huge change. Join us, we missed you! 

Feeling Feelings

How are you feeling today? Are you grateful, in fear, overwhelmed, feeling anxious, depressed, happy? Or maybe some other list of feelings entirely! Identifying emotions is the first step in making space for them. The more we allow our feelings and emotions to be here the less power they have to control and overwhelm us. Can we allow our feelings to teach us? In this episode, we share our feelings and experiences and then the tools we are using to make peace with our current reality. Join us!

Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

What Is Courage?

How To Be Courageous

This week on Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we're talking about how to be courageous. For so many of us, the idea of courage makes us think of alliance and bravery, the absence of fear. But it turns out in practice, it looks pretty different. So, what is courage? It's not the absence of fear. Courage means we do what we need to do despite the fear. Join the fun as we talk about how to have courage to face the life that's right in front of us one moment at a time. We'll share about where courage is alive in each of our lives. This includes courage required to live our fullest lives, to be present with our own experience, and to love ourselves exactly as we are. 

Want to share your experience or tools with us? Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

Unmet Needs

Find soothing from within. There's a current of anxiety in the larger world and maybe in our own homes. From covid and systemic racism to fear and disconnection, we share our current fears and unmet needs and wants. Then, we discuss the spiritual tools we’re experimenting with to address our unmet needs. Many of us notice an impulse to reach for soothing from outside things. Can we find that soothing and sense of belonging from within? This is a tender time, be gentle with yourselves.

How To Ground Yourself

Sweet friends, today we offer grounding techniques for uncertain times. It's natural to feel anxious or ungrounded at times, and especially during coronavirus. Here we talk about how to calm down when the world is topsy turvy. We share our own experiences with feeling anxious, scared, or ungrounded—and then we share practical tips and spiritual tools for ways to calm down. We may not be able to control pandemics or covid-19, but we can find safety within. Sending you love. You're not alone.

Feeling Lonely

How To Deal With Loneliness

These are some weird and stressful times! What better topic for our newest episode than feeling lonely. We recorded this episode about a month before the coronavirus reality started impacting our lives in the United States, but we’re hoping that it can still be helpful, especially if you’re feeling alone with fear or anxiety about our present circumstances.

All of us have some experience with feeling alone. In this modern time, we are more connected than ever, but that can also make us feel farther away. Join us as we explore the question of how to deal with loneliness, especially in these unique, global circumstances. 

Annie takes the lead in episode 49 and offers this definition of loneliness: “a state of mind characterized by a dissociation between what an individual wants or expects from a relationship and what that individual experiences in that relationship.” Or, in very simple terms, it’s perceived isolation. We’ll borrow that definition from Stephanie Cacioppo’s study of loneliness.

Feeling Lonely

If you’re dealing with loneliness, we want to assure you that you are so not alone in the struggle! These numbers reflect the impact of loneliness pre-quarantine, so we can only imagine that more and more people are starting to share in this difficult experience. 1 in 3 Americans is impacted by loneliness and 1 in 12 is severely impacted. And get this: loneliness is actually contagious. So we’ve got a lot of good reasons to dive into the topic and learn how to fight loneliness together.

It turns out that loneliness is a piece of biology that helps us recognize our social needs. This was a really useful signal to ourselves that we need other people. It’s our biological cue to get into connection. If we don’t tap into the great connection that exists between all of us, we can get really stuck feeling separate. This can be especially hard if we have learned how to live life without deep connections, which can manifest as a state of chronic loneliness.

Often, we don’t let people into our deepest and most painful experiences because we feel like outsiders. Perhaps we feel ashamed of our process or experience. Or maybe we just can’t connect to our true sense of belonging. No matter the reason we’re feeling cut off, healing means turning toward connection with ourselves and with others. If we want to learn how to overcome loneliness, we need to let people in. 

What To Do When Feeling Lonely

Wondering, why do I feel so alone? There are places inside of us that feel separate, disconnected, and like they don’t belong. The lonely places can seem even bigger because we feel like we’re the only ones having this experience. So we get to ask ourselves, what unmet needs are asking for my attention?

We get it and we’re here for you! We’re so grateful to have each other and our spiritual community as our spiritual bffs. We need this loving support system and we want you to feel supported, too. We are so grateful when you reach out to us and want to urge you to reach out when you’re feeling alone. So start where it’s easy and feels warm (we hope!)

We know how scary it can feel to extend yourself to others, especially when you’re feeling cut off. But in order to heal from loneliness, we need rich, reciprocal bonds. It’s a two-way street of connection where we let people get to know us and we also show up to get to know them. 

We Are Always Here For You

Instead of struggling through this life by ourselves, we want to share and celebrate our vital, human connections. Thank you so, so much for listening and being part of our virtual community. Please reach out and let us know what you need during these difficult times and how we can help support your spiritual journey. We are always here for you!

And as always, we can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together!

So come find us in all the places: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!

How To Heal A Broken Heart

How To Heal A Broken Heart

Wanting to know how to heal a broken heart? We’re with you friends. Turns out, how to get over heartbreak is something everyone deals with, sooner or later. In this very sweet and very tender episode, your spiritual best friends dive into the topic of getting over a breakup.

We may not have a magic potion for you, but we do have some experience and hope to share around breaking up with someone you love. You see, we all have had a broken heart, too. Ella shares very sweetly about the experience of being in the midst of a breakup. Annie talks about being in two different loving relationships, one where she was the person breaking up with someone she loved and the other where she was the person being broken up with. Poni shares very tenderly about breaking up with someone you love, even if that someone is not a romantic partner. This means you might be experiencing a breakup with a family member or a friend if the relationship has become troubling.

Sometimes we have to create space to protect our hearts, even if it breaks our hearts for the short term.

How To Get Over Someone You Love

In this episode, we talk about how hard it is (and how possible it is!) to get over someone you love. We know that getting over a breakup with someone you love sometimes needs more than just time and patience. That’s why we we don't just share our personal stories. We also share proven research about down-regulation of love to help your heart heal faster. That’s right, science! Who doesn’t love a little bit of science to help heal that sweet, tender heart?

Are you curious what down-regulation of love means? Here is one example of how to heal a broken heart with down-regulation of love. First, you catch yourself staring at photos of your ex on social media, and fantasizing about them. Second, we encourage you to immediately stop following them on every social platform (always a good idea). Third, if you do happen to start dreaming about your ex, you can practice down-regulation of love by shifting from the positive, “Oh, they were so wonderful and perfect,” to the negative, “They actually never showed up for me in the way that I wanted them too.” Typically, we don't encourage negative thinking. However, this shift from negative to positive can actually help retrain your brain to ease out of the love with that person. That is to say, get over heartbreak faster. 

What To Do After A Breakup

We know that broken hearts hurt so bad. We love you and are cheering for you. That’s why we decided to do this episode. Sometimes we need loving support and to know we’re not alone. Other times we need a basic instruction manual for life and serious spiritual healing to help us get through a hard time. 

In that vein, Ella demonstrates in real time the tools of being present that she uses to walk through her breakup. Annie shares tips and tools for how to handle life after a breakup whether you are the breakee or the breaker. (Do you like when we make up new vocabulary words, just to better accommodate the heartbreak episode? Breaker seemed like a good word to describe the person who is choosing to end the relationship and Breakee seemed like a good term to describe the person who is getting the breakup handed to them.) Poni shares some fantastic online resources that are linked in our tools tab, plus great somatic experiencing tools that can help you be present in moments of pain. 

You Are Not Alone

Seeking out a loving support system is always important after a breakup. In addition to safe friends and family, building up your internal support system so you can self soothe is also important. We love meditation and prayer for finding space in scary times. Also, sometimes a sudden breakup can be experienced like trauma and can knock you off your feet. If you are suffering and need extra support, we always encourage you to reach out to your therapist for extra guidance. You don’t have to do any of this alone. 

To sum it all up, we want you to know that whether your heart is hurting and you’re unsure what to do, you are not alone. We are here for you with this special podcast episode about how to deal with heartbreak. We hope it opens up a spark of light in your heart so you feel safe, loved, and some sense of peace that even in sad or hard times you will find joy again. 

Plus, there are so many cute people to kiss in the world! We can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together.

How To Heal A Broken Heart 

We may not have a magic potion for you, but we do have some experience and hope to share around breaking up with someone you love. You see, we all have had a broken heart, too.

Ella shares very sweetly about the experience of being in the midst of a breakup. Annie talks about being in two different loving relationships, one where she was the person breaking up with someone she loved and the other she was the person being broken up with. Poni shares very tenderly about breaking up with someone you love, even if that someone is not a romantic partner. Sometimes we have to create space to protect our hearts, even if it breaks our hearts for the short term.

How To Get Over Someone You Love

In this episode, we talk about how hard it is (and how possible it is!) to get over someone you love. We know that getting over a breakup with someone you love sometimes needs more than just time and patience. That’s why we’re sharing not only our personal stories but some proven research about down-regulation of love to help your heart heal faster. That’s right, science! Who doesn’t love a little bit of science to help heal that heart! 

Are you curious what down-regulation of love means? An example of down-regulation of love would be, when you catch yourself staring at photos of your ex on social media, you would disengage from following them at all (always a good idea). Then, if you did happen to start dreaming about your ex, you’d practice down-regulation of love. This means instead of saying, “Oh, they were so wonderful and perfect,” and viewing your ex through neon pink rosy glasses you'd shift to the negative. You might think to yourself, “Actually, they never showed up for me in the way that I wanted them too.”

We don't usually promote negative thinking. However, this shift from negative to positive can help retrain your brain to ease out of the love with that person. That is to say, get over heartbreak faster.  

What To Do After A Breakup

We know that broken hearts hurt so bad. We love you and are cheering for you. That’s why we decided to do this episode. Sometimes we all need extra love and support and to know that we are not alone. Other times we need a basic instruction manual for how to get through a hard time. 

In that vein, Ella demonstrates in real time the tools of being present that she uses to walk through her breakup. Annie shares tips and tools for how to handle life after a breakup whether you are the breakee or the breaker. (Do you like when we make up new vocabulary words, just to better accommodate the heartbreak episode? Breaker seemed like a good word to describe the person who is choosing to end the relationship and Breakee seemed like a good term to describe the person who is getting the breakup handed to them.) Poni shares some fantastic online resources that are linked in our tools tab, plus great somatic experiencing tools that can help you be present in moments of pain. 

We Heal Together

Seeking out a loving support system is always important after a breakup. In addition to safe friends and family, building up your internal support system so you can self soothe is also important. We love meditation and prayer as two tools to help create internal space and internal support when we are feeling overwhelmed. Also, sometimes a sudden breakup can be experienced like trauma and can knock you off your feet. If you are suffering and need extra support, we always encourage you to reach out to your therapist for extra guidance. You do not have to do any of this alone. 

To sum it all up, we want you to know that whether your heart is hurting or you’re unsure what to do, you are not alone. We are here for you with this special podcast episode about how to deal with heartbreak. We hope it opens up a spark of light in your heart so you feel safe, loved, and gives you some sense of peace that even in sad or hard times you will find joy again. 

Plus, there are so many cute people to kiss in the world! Just think of all the fun you'll have once your heart is on the mend.

We can’t wait to hear what you think. Please let us know by emailing us or connecting with us on social media and commenting there. We’re all one big team. We’ve got to stick together.

Much Love,

Pretty Spiritual Podcast

Annie, Ella, & Lindsay Poni

How to Have Fun

Why So Serious?

On the special one year anniversary of Pretty Spiritual Podcast, we are talking about how to have fun in life. Yes, even when it feels like the end times. Even in times of global pandemic, presidential elections, and whatever other fun stuff might be happening in your personal life. Smile!

But seriously, life is hard enough. How can we learn to let go of some of our seriousness? How can we be more exuberant with our lives and laughter? How can we relax and let ourselves play...even as adults?

If you’ve ever tried to lighten up, you’ve probably discovered that fear and pride can keep us really invested in looking good and being right. In so many ways, fear gets in the way of our ability to play. So how do we notice when we’re taking ourselves really seriously and what can we do to let go of all that seriousness? Let’s get into it.

Don't Take Life Too Seriously? Um, okay... How?

There are some really good reasons we started taking life so seriously. Maybe we had to act like adults when we were children and learned to equate seriousness with safety. Perhaps we thought that seriousness and severity were good ways to protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe. And we want to honor the fact that those equations may have saved our lives when we were little. 

But now as adults, these attitudes and beliefs are actually getting in the way of our lives. So how do you wake up in the moment when you find that you’re taking yourself too seriously? We have some fun suggestions.

Of course, we’ve all heard that one annoying suggestion at some point or another: don't take life too seriously. (And if you were offended and slightly irritated by this suggestion, join the team!) Okay fine, even if we want to learn how to do that, where do we begin? It has been our experience that the more tools and resources we have, the greater the chances we can wear the world like a loose garment.

How to Have Fun in the Thick of It

As Suzuki Roshi once said of the spiritual path: “What we are doing here is so important, we better not take it too seriously.” So let’s learn how to laugh kindly about ourselves and our lives even when we’re in the thick of it.

Want to learn how to laugh more? Or how to have a sense of humor about yourself? That’s right, friendies. It’s time for spiritual tools. Let’s pick up some tools that help us be lighthearted when we're in transition or life feels stressful, heavy, serious and overwhelming.

For the record, not taking ourselves too seriously doesn’t mean we dismiss or undermine our own experience. Before we can start to not take life so seriously, we usually need to learn how to soften into the experience of suffering we’re having. We often need to learn to be kind with the fear or tightness we’re feeling in order to love ourselves into healing. We can appreciate the gravity of circumstances or situations while still maintaining a cheerful attitude. 

And by the way, if you're struggling with mental health issues or trauma, we really want you to trust yourself and take your healing seriously. Please get your sweet, tender self all of the help you need. If you’re struggling with that first step, please get in touch with us so we can support you with encouragement, accountability, and love.

Spiritual Tools to Have Fun with Life

Let’s get those tools. First of all, attitude is a choice. OMG, how annoying is that! Sometimes the fastest way to have a shift in attitude is to watch our thinking. Having the container of awareness gives us the space to witness ourselves and our thinking. Because, just, wow. It’s nonstop comedy gold up here, people. 

Ready to take your one-person comedy act on the road? Chances are you can lighten up by sharing all that serious thinking with another person. Letting safe people into the obsessive or self-centered thinking helps us remember we’re not alone. Plus, sometimes just saying the thoughts thinking out loud can make so much room for our sense of humor.

Another tool that helps us so much is curiosity. What changes when we can get curious about our experience? Being of service to others is also such a powerful way to get out of ourselves and feel good about the lives we’re living. And hey, just to be clear, we are always advocating for service with boundaries.

And just a casual shout out to God or gawd or goddess or whatever name works for you. Can we surrender our controlling and managing to something greater than ourselves? Especially something that cares deeply for us and is taking care of us at all times? This kind of trust in the process can help us relax into the flow of the present moment. Say a prayer to whatever speaks to your heart.

Play Is a Real Spiritual Tool

Ready for the final tool? We want to suggest that you play! Wondering how to be playful? Ask yourself, where can you be silly and let loose without caring too much about getting it right or what other people think? In other words, do you have a puppy (or other fur baby) around? Please hold hands with it immediately. Get in there for some in-depth ear kisses. Aaaaaand repeat. 

For even more fun ideas, check out the spiritual resources on our tools page. Come on, y’all. Join the fun and discover for yourself why laughter is good for the soul. Find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Insight Timer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, Podbean, and Stitcher (or our Contact page) and share your feelings, thoughts, and anything else! Thanks for listening to our spiritual podcasts. We love ya!